Actually, its not. Its just a line I heard in the Bullet For My Valentine song on Octane this morning that I can't get out of my head.
But it is apropos in a way...
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Ah. You seek meaning. Then listen to the music, and not the song.------------------
Time to make an update. Again, nearly a year between entries, as the last one was in September. More time has passed, more things have happened. And through it all, Insh'Allah.
I'll explain that in a moment. First, a few general updates.
If you look through my gallery
(THAT'S A HINT BY THE WAY! ) you'll notice I've done a bit of travelling since I last made any major comments on here. Actually, a ridiculous amount of travelling. My airline miles and hotel points are through the roof, and my credit card is screaming in agony. Let's see, since Canadian Thanksgiving in October:
* 10 days in Australia
* 4 two-to-four day work trips to Little Rock, Arkansas
* 1 weekender to Memphis and area during one of those
* 5? times in Toronto & area (including an interesting New Year's Eve) totalling roughly 3 weeks
* 10 days in London & Kent
* 4 days in Calgary at Christmas
* An awesome May two-four weekend in Bermuda
* Detroit and back in a day... phew.
Throw in my Mom coming to Sault for a couple weeks to watch the Canadian Women's Curling Championships / Scotties Tournament of Hearts (see
bulloney.deviantart.com/art/Is… and
bulloney.deviantart.com/art/At… ) in February, and to say that I've been unsettled for a while would be an understatement.
I haven't done the math for it, but I'd estimate that I've been averaging living out of my backpack roughly one day in four, probably closer to one day in three at times. And every other week in May.
Well, to further enhance that, add to it: Living addressless in hotels for most of the last two weeks while waiting for my furniture to make the trip from Sault Ste Marie to my new home in.... Toronto.
Yes, Toronto. The Big Smoke. T-dot. The (self-proclaimed) Center of Canada. Tranna. T.O. The 416. Current visiting place of the "G20" world leaders and (from the news reports anyways) a gazillion protesting hooligans.
Its been a long time coming, and a long complicated story. Short version: a gentleman decided to retire in our sales office in Southern Ontario, I applied, and I got the job. That's really all that needs be said.
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I am Grey.
I stand between the candle and the star.
We are Grey.
We stand between the darkness and the light. ------------------
Also, after browsing my gallery
(HINT HINT) one might notice that my focus is changing towards more 'people' shoots. Its mostly uncharted territory for me, and I've had some great opportunities in the last while. Tried to get together with a few Sooites but that didn't work out
(maybe we can get together in July when I'm up... i'll msg you on FB) Now that I'm in Toronto, where there are a heckuvalot more people to take pictures of, there will be quite a bit more of those popping up. Especially since its summer, its nice out, I live by a park downtown on Lakeshore Ave....
So, who wants to go for a shoot?
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The universe began with a word. But which came first: the word or the thought behind the word? You can't create language without thought, and you can't conceive a thought without language, so which created the other, and thus created the universe? ------------------
Back to my earlier comment on "Insh'Allah"... I once read an article that this term is one of the most common and yet misunderstood, and therefore frustrating, phrases that a traveller would come across when going through the Middle East. (I haven't. Yet.)
From Wiktionary:
Arabic < interjection >
1. God willing; if it is God's will; if God wills it
2. it is to be hoped; I hope; we hope so
The first definition listed above is the most appropriate for my thoughts at the moment. Though they all say roughly the same thing, the three definitions have subtly different meanings. Heavy shades of grey. Examples: "I will win the $50 million lottery this Friday, Insh'Allah." (highly unlikely) "I'll buy a new car, Insh'Allah." (Possible, but not really probable) "We'll make it through this traffic and arrive on time, Insh'Allah." (probable, but there is some doubt... though sometimes that is actually translates to a polite way of saying 'good luck with that!' ) "Did our team win the game last night? Insh'Allah." (I dunno, but whatever happened is what happened) "My friend's child will be born healthy, Insh'Allah." (I hope that this is what happens - more towards the second definition). The same words invoke hope, doubt, acceptance, belief, disagreement, and faith; it is surprising how versatile suc a simple phrase can be.
Going back to my last journal, I made a comment and invoked this phrase. Well, now that it has happened, I can say that a move out of Sault Ste Marie is what I was obliquely referring to at the time. My eight years there had good times, bad times, and others in between, but the time for a change was ripe.
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I believe that when we leave a place a part of it goes with us and part of us remains. Go anywhere in these halls, when it is quiet and just listen. After a while you will hear the echoes of all of our conversations, every thought and word we've exchanged. Long after we are gone, our voices will linger in these walls for as long as this place remains. But I will admit that the part of me that going will very much miss the part of you that is staying. ------------------
Finally, it must be said that the last week or so has seen a lot of big news for other close friends of mine as well. (I shocked a coworker by having good news to report so often!) One just had a baby daughter, her second child. One had the brewhouse he is a founding partner of 'back home' in Quebec win the Platinum prize at the Mondiale de la Biere in Montreal, the top prize of the city's international beer festival. (He brings some back after every trip, it is good stuff. They're called "A La Fut". Check it out:
www.alafut.com/ ) One quit our company quite unexpectedly to move back to the Toronto area and help his father establish a new engineering firm. One was promoted out of the union and into the managerial ranks. Several are retiring over the next week.
I seem to be in a nexus with so many key things happening to so many different people that I know at once. If I were still in Sault, I might think that the place was falling apart around me...
(well, in the case of my old apartment that wouldn't be overly far from the truth... but I digress) And that there is so much good news... well, its a change. I wish the best to everyone.
Isil'Zha VeniiSheldon S.
(BuLL.oney)